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How Childhood Bullying Influenced How I Treat Others as an Adult

“For me, that strong back is grounded confidence and boundaries. The soft front is staying vulnerable and curious. The mark of a wild heart is living out these paradoxes in our lives and not giving into the either/or BS that reduces us. It’s showing up in our vulnerability and our courage, and, above all else, being both fierce and kind.” ~ Brené Brown Many people have experienced bullying in their lives and have possibly been a bully by association without realizing it at the time. While the type of bullying may differ, the emotions are often the same. Bullying is never okay, and the layered pain that bullies usually possess drives how they treat others. For me anxiety, shame, and a lack of understanding has always been present. On a regular basis, I experience pings of past bullying in my head reminiscent of the notifications that pop up on my phone. When I reflect on my teen years, it’s the cringe-worthy moments that are the headliners. These negative experiences can s...

I Might Fail, but Time Won’t Just Pass Me By

“It’s not about time, it’s about choices. How are you spending your choices?” ~Beverly Adamo You hit a point in life after which choices seem to become less and less reversible. As if they were engraved in stone. No matter how many motivational posts about following your own timeline and going at your own pace cross your Instagram wall. No matter how much you try to convince yourself that it’s never too late to start a new career, move into a new house, or find the right person. It’s not that you don’t believe it—it just does not work for you . It’s okay for other people to follow their dreams and dance to their own rhythm. But not for you. You feel like you’re in school again, falling behind. The more you tell yourself that you don’t have to live up to anyone’s expectations, the more you realize the only person you’re afraid to disappoint is the one looking back at you in the mirror . I used to listen to this song that goes, I wake up in the middle of night It’s like I can fe...

Transforming Pain into Power: The Magic of Emotional Alchemy

If it weren’t for my darkest moments, I wouldn’t appreciate the life I have today. I’ve overcome a lot, and my biggest battle wasn’t the hurdles themselves but how they made me feel, draining my energy and desire for life until I nearly lost it completely. I’m sharing my story to give you hope. If I can transform pain into beauty through emotional alchemy, you can, too. I’m not going to lie and say my journey has been easy. Nor is it over; overcoming a lifetime of dysfunctional patterns from a toxic childhood and challenging adult experiences takes time. However, it is so very worth it. Here’s how I perform emotional alchemy, and you can, too. My “Shawshank” Moment Although I didn’t always recognize how childhood trauma led to my adult victimization, I now see how it created the conditions. My inner child wasn’t only wounded ; I, in many ways, was still a child. I grew up in a household where anger was the primary emotion, and that seed remained within me. When an adult tragedy s...

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